Oh, how I’ve missed thee, it’s been too long! Let me tell you, so much has happened within a year, but…before I go on rampage about what’s happened in my life. Let me first start off, by apologizing for not posting, tweeting or even saying boo. It’s been a year, since the last time I published my own writing, and not writing ANYTHING…has been extremely hard!
Writing has always been second nature. For years, I’ve used it as a way to release my thoughts and feelings. Most importantly, writing is what I truly believe and know, to be a large part of my purpose. And when you’re not operating in your purpose…hunnie, you feel like you’ve lost a part of your-SELF.
I felt like I lost my purpose but importantly myself.
I wasn’t ME! Now, I don’t want you to think that I was depressed or had a horrible year. It was a GREAT year! I traveled around the world, got in shape, created new relationships and got married. YES, I got married to the love of my life! Again, if that doesn’t describe a great year, then I don’t what does. However, in the mist of all those “great” things happening…I couldn’t write or even feel purposeful about sharing my life experiences.
A number of my post this year, will describe my experiences and hardships of not operating in my purpose, living with someone before marriage…Yes, BEFORE marriage, decision making and relationship highs and lows. Of course, I’m a newlywed and I don’t know everything about life and relationships, but I can speak from experience. One of the hardest things I’ve had to learn and…still learning, is how to be transparent with the people around me.
And honestly, this past year, was the most transparent I’ve ever been with myself but most importantly God. Now, if you really know me, I won’t immediately telling you everything about me. As a social worker, my purpose is to help improve and change the lives of others. I’m friendly but my focus in conversation and just my daily actions, isn’t primarily focused on myself. I’m slowly but surly, learning how to be open with my personal feelings and issues. One morning during my quiet time, God said, “Stop, it’s okay to show others who you really are. It’s time to come out of hiding and be transparent.” Out of defense, I said, “I am, what you mean?!”
He said, “NO, I need you to stop letting people see you, the way you want them to see you. BE transparent.”
I said, “Okay God…I’ll try and “be transparent”. God said, “Naw, I DON’T need you to try, it’s time to BE! Be transparent with the people around you and ME! It’s time and it’s crucial!” Now, I can’t tell you right now, ALL of what God said…but I can say, He put me alllll the way together. He threw me the best form of shade I’ve ever seen. I walked away from that conversation like, “Okkkkayyy, (nodding my head up and down) you right! My bad, I tried it Lawd!”
I immediately started doing some research on the word transparent. Of course, I knew what it meant but something said look it up. The the first thing that came up on Google was – allowing light to pass through so that objects behind can be distinctly seen or detected, having thoughts, feelings, or motives that are easily perceived. Now if that doesn’t sum up what God wants me to be, I don’t know what does (I’m trippin). Again, He got a sista alllll the way together!
At times, we all need someone to get us together! The Holy Spirit also reminded me that as Christian’s, we’re the light to the world. Two ways for us to be a true blessing to people, is through transparency and honesty, about who God is in our lives. My prayer is that I be open and transparent in what God’s doing in my life and marriage. In hope that my experiences and sometimes mess ups, are opportunities for growth and insight into who you’re called to be. Thanks for reading and #SimplyBe!