Are You Becoming the Person, in which the Person You’re Looking for, is Looking for?


So we’ve all been there or maybe you’re experiencing this currently…drum roll please…the single life. I know, for some it’s a great experience and for others it can be extremely challenging. But for those of you who are currently living the single life, congratulations and get excited! Why? Because you have the opportunity to not only meet the person you’ve been praying for, but the opportunity to become that person yourself.

It’s so funny. When single, we often think that if we meet the right person, eventually everything will be alright. But is that really the truth? You know how it is, you start dating someone, you all share great chemistry, and you eventually fall in love with each other. You’re so in love, that you can’t stop thinking about them, always want to be around them, and become completely infatuated with who they are. But the minute something goes wrong or you start to realize that the relationship isn’t what you thought it was…you start to blame the other person. Yes, there are times in relationships where the other person is at fault for the relationship failing; but the majority of the time…it’s a joint effort. And when we experience a break up, we often wonder why the OTHER person couldn’t get it together. Weren’t they Mr. or Mrs. Right?!

Unfortunately, we’re so focused on finding the right person that we can neglect ourselves. Ask yourself this question, “Are you becoming the person, in which the person you’re looking for, is looking for?” I’m not just hunting and seeking, but becoming the person I’m looking for, is looking for. In scripture we see little about finding the right person, but so much about becoming the right person. For God who created love and relationships, you would think He would give us a little additional information on how to achieve one. But the amazing thing about God and His word, is that He makes us become close and intimate with Him before forming a relationship with anyone else. God wants to show us what real love, kindness, and patience is. And thankfully with Him, we learn the proper way to express ourselves to our Help Mates for a lifetime. 1 Corinthians 13, the Love chapter, Paul speaks on the importance and correct way to give and receive love. It demonstrates the love we experience with Christ, but also the love that we should demonstrate to those around us.

I encourage you to continue to work towards becoming the person, in which the person you’re looking for, is looking for. And also try the tips listed below as a guide for a great relationship. Thanks for reading and #BeLove #BePatient #SimplyBE!

– BJ

Guide to a Great Relationship

1 Corinthians 13: 4 – 7 “ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

1. Love is Patient

  • Never pressure or create pressure towards the other person. If there’s too much pressure, let the person know. And decide if this relationship is what you really want. Love and relationships don’t happen overnight, they take time. Take your time and be patient.

“There should BE no pressure to love or BE loved by anyone.”

2. Love is Kind

  • Take consideration of the other person and be kind. Kindness can be shown in different ways, and showing consideration of what they enjoy and dislike is important. Ask them how their day was, and have a ear to hear what’s bothering them. Just simply listening, can also be a great way to show someone how much you care.

3. Love Does NOT Envy or Boast

  • Despite what’s going on in your life or how you feel about yourself, never put your feelings or emotions on your mate. You’re a team…I don’t feel too good about me, so I don’t feel too good about you. No, let your mate tell you how they feel and let them be themselves. Allow them tell a funny joke, or even talk about their day without trying to come back with something better or more important. Going tit-for-tat in a relationship is draining and selfish, no one’s more important or better than the other.

4. Love is NOT Proud

  • Try to avoid allowing your pride to get in the way of your feelings and emotions. Being patient, kind, and considerate of the other person takes consistent work and persistence. But we don’t have to achieve it on our own, God is with us. Humbling ourselves truly comes from Christ and takes continuous effort. Remember, you’re responsible for the transformation of your character to attract the person you want to become.

5. Does NOT dishonor others

  • You never want to be a regret to someone, so treat them they way you would want to be treated. No ones perfect, but behaving disgracefully and dishonestly in speech and character should be avoided at all cost.

“You never want to BE a regret to someone, so treat them they way you would want to BE treated.”

6. Love is NOT Self-Seeking

  • Love doesn’t come naturally but passion and chemistry do. However, you can’t allow the passion and chemistry that you have with someone for a moment, comprise what you could have for a lifetime. Being patient, kind, and considerate takes time and effort. You can do it! It’s about being the right person, for the person you want to meet. Are you the person, in which the person you’re looking for, is looking for?

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